Grow Playfully... A Story of Inception

    Pam & equine partner Pecos.

    Pam & equine partner Pecos.

By Pam Stoddard
Owner & Facilitator

My own journey in connecting to my authentic self began the winter of 2001 after what I can best describe as “a nervous breakdown”, which lasted about a week.  It was one very long week... LET ME TELL YOU!  I felt as if someone close to me was going to die.  Needless to say, I was distraught!  At the time, I didn’t have any idea who was supposedly going to die.   I only knew it was someone close to me.  As I sit here writing this, I wonder... could it have been my true self sensing the need for my inauthentic self to die?   

At the end of that very long week, and asking myself that age-old question "What do I wanna be when I grow up?"  I woke to an epiphany.  I realized I wanted to help people learn and grow while working with horses.  I wasn’t sure exactly what that would look like, only what it wouldn’t look like.  As fate would have it, I was lead to study with an organization that advocated for the use of horses in learning and therapy.  PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a therapist.  If you have a therapist or coach who currently works with you, your family, or group they're welcome to set up a consultation to explore the possibility of co-facilitating your experience, as an adjunct.

As a be-U-t-full consequence of my studies, I realized the need to emerge from the stifling overlay of destructive environmental and social conditioning I had agreed to (unconsciously albeit) over the years, and to begin giving myself license to be my own authority and orchestrate my own paradigm shifts.  So, an even better question to ask myself back in 2001 was who did I want to be... not what.  Honestly, the journey to self-recovery and deeper, more meaningful relationships hasn't always been fun.  Sometimes, it's downright painful.  I'm still very much on that journey.  What I’ve found though is this- it helps to grow playfully whenever possible!